For our last weekend, me and Tammy decided to escape to Rome. We stayed at this "hostel" Gen recommended. But when we got there, it turns out it was like a freakin' summer camp. We had our own private cabin and there was a pool and a bar and it had it's own restaurant. I would have been able to just stay at this place the whole time, like fuck Rome.
So here we are, overjoyed with our giant cabin to ourselves. We went to go lay by the pool like superstars, and as all summer camps are, it was crawling with teenie boppers twerking to the pool DJ's and trying to impress each other. Me and Tammy were watching on amusedly, before being interrupted by the bartender who insisted on pouring peach schnapps into our mouths straight from the bottle. In which me and Tammy replied, "yeah okay, but we're not paying for it." And then he murmured something about it him being horny while doing it and it was gross but he was pretty funny otherwise. Then he forced the guy next to us, who I like to call Ewan McGreggor, to do the same. We struck up a conversation with our now good mate Louie, who was french but reading a Japanese book and he remained our friend for the whole time.
Later that night, the bartender invited us back down to the bar with his friend and we were like yeah why not free alcohol. We got into discussions about communism and what weapons you would use in a zombie apocalypse, in which Louie replied "the bagpipes." And it was probably the funniest thing I've ever heard. Then we invited ourselves to a toga party that was held by a top-deck tour. Which was largely inhabited by other Australian's. As I watched a multitude of guys stand on the bar and flap around their bare willies, it was the first time I was kind of embarrassed to be Australian. Then 10 minutes later I was doing my break dancing moves, so I can't really talk. Later on that night, me and Tammy were enjoying ourselves on our own patio, as shown in picture, when the two bartenders fucking FOLLOWED US back to our bungalow. It was the most awkwardest thing ever we were like "okay......goodnight" and then they wouldn't leave. Can I just mention that these guys were like 30 years old. I can't really remember how we managed to escape but I imagine that it was something along the lines of me dissolving into a puddle of liquid and discreetly seeping through the crack of the front door. That night I forced Tammy to let me spoon her because I felt afraid for my life.
The next day we went to the Colosseum, which was fucking AWESOME. I really have a soft spot for historical torture so learning about all this was like the most interesting thing I've ever heard. First of all, the building has been around since 72AD which is like, if "Jesus" had made it to a Grandpa he would have been alive when it was built. It's so crazy, there were people with lives back then. They'd waltz on down like we go the cinema, they're like "lets go throw some Christian's to the lions" and then afterwards they'd go have an orgy. That was their lives. My favourite story, favourite in the kind of way that I actually yelled "oh my fucking god", was they would wrap the criminals in raw meat and catapult them from the top of the building into a pit of starving animals, and all the animals would jump to catch the person in mid air. How fucked up is that.
Here I am walking around Rome, nothing really interesting to say here but this picture needs more recognition.
And here is a really nice picture of me and Louie.
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